


The Man Who Watches Heroes Die

by BaronVonChop



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-07 20:34:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1124089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaronVonChop/pseuds/BaronVonChop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story follows the life of Tendo Choi, from his childhood to the last days of the Kaiju War.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and criticism are welcome!

As a boy growing up in San Francisco, Tendo Choi does not remember Beijing. He remembers the apartment where they lived, and he remembers visiting relatives, but there is nothing about those memories that ties them to the city. San Francisco is “the city” to him. The place he lived before is another world, the world of memories. He will not return to China for thirty years.

* * *

Tendo is a loud child, always talking. When he enters preschool, the teacher has her hands full with the trilingual chatterbox. The teacher only speaks English, so she worries about some of the things coming out of Tendo’s mouth in Spanish or Mandarin.

Tendo makes friends with everyone, regardless of language or ethnicity. Other kids like him for his enthusiasm and his imagination. There is never a dull recess or weekend when Tendo is around.

Though he always has an idea for what they could do next, Tendo is just as happy following someone else’s suggestion. Even when he is the one to invent a new game, he never leads. He explains the rules (as he makes them up), but he lets the other kids be team captains.

 

Tendo gets beaten up for the first time when he is eleven years old. He comes home sullen, his shirt bloody and his face a mess. His parents are concerned, but at first he refuses to talk about it and prefers to sulk in his room, burying his face in his pillow and ruining the pillowcase. When they finally get the story out of him--by way of the pillow--they try to explain to him how there are some neighborhoods he should stay out of, and some kids he can’t be friends with.

It’s a bitter lesson for Tendo, but he does not learn it all at once.

* * *

When Tendo is fourteen, there is nobody to speak Chinese to outside of his family. Though his grandfather lives in San Francisco, Tendo feels awkward because every time he visits, the Chinese words are harder to conjure up. His grandfather is patient with Tendo as the teenager struggles with the language he seemed to know so well as a child.

The Chinese kids he used to hang out with don’t want to see him any more. He’s not Chinese enough to be one of them, but he is too Chinese for them to relate to him as an outsider.

At first, the Chinese kids try insults to keep him away. Then they switch to threats. Finally, they beat him up. Their punches hurt just as much as those from the strangers who bully him for being in the wrong neighborhood. The ones he knew from childhood have to hit him extra hard while the other kids egg them on.

* * *

At first, he merely learns how to block some of the blows to lessen the pain.

Then, he learns how to fight back.

The fights are never even, so Tendo feels no need to fight fair.

He loses anyway, but he makes sure even a victory leaves his attackers hesitant to try anything with him again.

* * *

The Chinese gangs didn’t want anything to do with him. The Latino gangs welcome him. Most of the Latino kids think it’s cool that he’s part Chinese, and the others don’t really care.

His parents are worried, but they don’t know how to talk to him about it. Their chatterbox child has grown into a terse teenager.

* * *

Tendo no longer enjoys visiting his grandfather. He is ashamed at his own halting, mispronounced Chinese, but his teenage pride covers his embarrassment with rudeness. His grandfather wonders if it’s something he said, and tries to buy Tendo milk tea. Tendo refuses to drink his favorite childhood treat. It breaks Tendo’s heart to see his grandfather sigh and fall into silence, but he is too stubborn to relent.

His grandfather eyes Tendo’s tattoos, but says nothing.

* * *

His friends are starting to get into drugs and girls.

Tendo is scared of drugs, and refuses to try them.

Tendo is even more scared of girls, but he does not let that stop him.

* * *

He is nineteen and he lives in his own apartment. He applied to some colleges after high school but he never really intended to go. Now he works at a video store, but only when he bothers to show up.

One of his friends comes over to find the drugs he left at Tendo’s apartment a few nights ago. Tendo’s place is a safe place to stash drugs, since everyone knows Tendo doesn’t touch the stuff.

The drugs aren’t anywhere to be found.

Where is that girl who was staying with him?

Tendo thinks she’ll be back in a few minutes. She’s probably just grabbing them both some coffee. Stacks of coffee cups are a reminder of Tendo’s only addiction.

Tendo sits with his friend on the apartment’s sagging couch, trying to watch TV. His friend can’t sit still. His voice gets louder and louder.

The girl never returns.

His friend is swearing about the girl. Then his friend starts swearing about Tendo.

Tendo is on his back before his mind registers what has happened, the pain in his jaw overwhelming rational thought. He can barely raise his arms to defend himself.

* * *

Tendo lies in his room for two hours, unable to move, before a neighbor sees the open door and checks inside.

At the hospital, they tell him he has a compound fracture in his leg. He’s going to be there a while.

A nurse sees the cross tattooed on Tendo’s hand and thinks he might want to speak to a priest. The priest is a silver-haired, heavily-built, white man. He introduces himself as Father Charles.

“So you’re not Christian?”

“Not really.”

The priest studies Tendo for a moment. “Well, what the hell,” he says, shrugging. “It’s four-thirty. If I go home now, all I got to look forward to is some crappy microwave dinner. If I stay until five, I can get a proper dinner in the hospital cafeteria for free. You’re my last visit for the day, so do you mind if I wait here? You’ll be doing me a favor.”

Tendo shrugs.

The priest nods to where Tendo’s leg, encased in a cast, is hung from a sling. “I’ve never seen them do that before. I thought they only did it in cartoons.”

Another shrug from Tendo.

Father Charles’ eyes travel the room. He pulls out a crumpled pack of cigarettes and hooks a thumb toward the window. “Do you mind?”

Tendo doesn’t shrug this time. He shifts as much as he can in the bed, watching to see if the priest will really dare light a cigarette in a hospital room.

He does. Father Charles rolls down the window and blows the smoke outside through the side of his mouth. After thoughtfully smoking most of the cigarette, he raises his eyebrows at Tendo. “You’re not gonna rat me out, are you?”

Tendo can’t help but smile.

Before the priest heads down to the cafeteria, he leaves a Bible and a crucifix on Tendo’s bedside table. “You may as well hang onto these. They send ‘em to me for free.”

“Hey, Father?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you do when you don’t know what to do?”

“Hell if I know. Pray, I guess.”

“What if you don’t believe in God?”

The priest thinks about it. It’s almost five, and he’s hesitating, eager to go down to dinner but feeling like he should give an answer anyway. “Pray anyway.” He gives a shrug and a half-smile, as though he is not sure that was the right answer, then turns and leaves.

For Tendo, it was the right answer.

With nothing much else to do, Tendo spends the next morning thinking about how to ask Father Charles how to pray the rosary next time.

* * *

Tendo checks the clock throughout the day, and as five o’clock approaches, he starts to wonder if the priest will return at all.

A few minutes before five, Father Charles enters the room. “Don’t worry,” he says, “it’s almost five o’clock, so I’ll be out of your hair soon enough. I just thought I’d drop by and see if you wanted this.”

It’s a CD featuring Johnny Cash’s greatest hits. Father Charles explains, “My sister’s husband got it for me for my last birthday because he knows I like Johnny Cash.” He snorts. “So what do I need a greatest hits album for?” He waves it at Tendo. “Do you want it?”

Tendo eyes the cover warily, “Is it country?” His voice betrays his disdain.

“Yeah. Well, if you don’t want it, maybe you can find someone who does.” He puts the CD on Tendo’s nightstand quickly, worried that Tendo will stop him. When Tendo doesn’t say anything, Charles turns for the door. “All right, then.”

Tendo resolves to ask the priest about the rosary the next time he sees him.

Father Charles does not return the next day, and Tendo is released the day after. He considers looking for Father Charles, but Tendo feels shy about it and decides not to. On his way out, the nurse at the front desk tells him that there is a message for him.

It is a printout of a job opening working at a ferry. The job description lists several languages that would be a “plus” to know, and Spanish and Chinese are at the top of the list. There is an index card attached to the printout with a paper clip. The index card says simply, Thought you might want to apply. Fr Charles

Tendo takes the bus home, leaning his crutches against the empty seat next to him. He does not think he will apply for the job. The Johnny Cash CD is in his jacket pocket.

* * *

The ferry job turns out to be both easier and harder than Tendo had anticipated. It is easier because it does not require much Chinese or Spanish after all.

No, this is not the ferry to Alcatraz.

Yes, you may take pictures.

The last ferry is at 8:25.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

The job is harder because there is a lot learn about how the ferry works. In the first few weeks, it feels like he is expected to learn five different things each day, all at the same time. He worries that his colleagues are frustrated with him, and senses them shaking their heads or rolling their eyes when he is not where he should be. He considers quitting daily.

He sticks with it.

Eventually, he gets good at it.

* * *

After the events of K-Day, Tendo Choi starts relearning Chinese, but it is too late. His grandfather is dead, killed by the toxic blood of the first kaiju. He learned Chinese as a child, but a child’s broken grammar proved inadequate when it mattered. Tendo remembers his dying grandfather struggling to understand what his grandson was trying to say. He remembers his own frustration increasing as he tripped over the words, trying to make himself remember through force of will.

The world seems smaller since the kaiju attack, and more fragile. Tendo ferries food across the bay to people still trapped in the ruins of San Francisco, then ferries the survivors back to tent cities and makeshift hospitals on the mainland. If he thinks about the scores of hungry people waiting for their turn, the scope of the task overwhelms him. He takes it one trip at a time, focusing on the people he is helping, their names, their faces.

He stops watching the news. There is nothing to be gained from watching the same shots of Trespasser tearing down the bridge, a thousand interviews of people who were “there on the day,” and so-called experts who all have different theories and recommendations.

Food is rationed. Each pre-packaged meal contains bread, vegetables, fruit, meat, and candy. Tendo does not eat the candy.

It’s amazing how a simple chocolate bar can turn a grubby child clutching at his mother’s skirt, staring at nothing, back into a normal kid again, if only for the time it takes to eat it.


	2. Chapter 2

The Jaeger program catches everyone by surprise. Tendo hears about it from a Chinese grocer, and it takes Tendo a while to work out whether the man is making the whole thing up, recounting a film he saw, or describing real events. When Tendo realizes that it is all true, he asks the grocer to go through the story again from the start.

* * *

Alaska is cold for someone who has spent most of his life in the Bay Area. In the time it takes him to walk from plane to the airport, he learns that there is a big difference between cold weather clothes for California and cold weather clothes for Alaska.

At the Jaeger Academy orientation, two brothers take pity on the shivering Tendo. Yancy and Raleigh Becket were born in Alaska, and they take Tendo to a store selling outdoor and sporting goods.

They help Tendo pick out a heavy coat while Johnny Cash plays over the store radio. The brothers give Tendo a hard time about singing along under his breath.

The Beckets are younger than Tendo, and their youthful optimism is invigorating. In the Bay Area, people saw the kaiju as natural disasters. As the Beckets tell him over drinks at the local bar one day, they look forward to punching natural disasters in the face.

Tendo has no doubt that the brothers are drift compatible. He is not surprised when they are selected to continue training toward becoming Jaeger pilots, while Tendo himself is offered an opportunity to stay on in a support role.

* * *

As Tendo is leaving a lecture one day, another student approaches him. “Hey, my name’s Newt. Those are some sick tats. Where’d you get them?”

Tendo takes a step back, unconsciously raising one hand to the tattoo on his neck.

Newt takes a step forward. “I’ve been thinking of getting some tattoos, myself.”

Tendo takes another step back and finds his back to the wall. Newt takes another step forward. Tendo grimaces, “You wouldn’t want a tattoo from where I got these.”

Newt, a puzzled smile on his face, watches Tendo leave. Tendo tries to steer clear of Newt in the future.

* * *

There are opportunities in J-Tech, working with the Jaegers. Tendo’s test results point him toward J-Tech, so he decides to learn more about it.

He starts by learning about the Pons, Neural Handshakes, and the Drift. He has learned these concepts before, but the earlier instruction always assumed that the candidates would be the ones Drifting. Now, Tendo learns about how to gauge the strength of a Neural Handshake, how to monitor the Drift, and most importantly, how to watch for signs that one of the pilots is starting to chase the rabbit.

When they hear news of the next kaiju attack, it serves as a reminder to many of Tendo’s colleagues that the enemy they face is more than drills and hypothetical scenarios. Tendo needs no reminder.

* * *

When Tendo, the Beckets, and Newt are transferred to the newly-built Anchorage Shatterdome, the four of them go out for drinks to celebrate. In the general good atmosphere, Tendo relaxes and decides to even cut Newt some slack. All four of them boast about how eager they are to come to grips with the kaiju.

“The best thing about my job,” says Tendo, a wobbly smile on his face and his arm around the blond who has attached herself to him, “is that I’m gonna have a front row seat to every beating you deliver to those ugly sons of bitches.”

* * *

Every time a kaiju emerges from the breach, the Anchorage shatterdome goes into full alert. Tendo knows the most efficient route from his bunk, to the commissary for some bagels, to the coffee machine, to his chair.

Each time, Tendo watches as the kaiju emerges in regions patrolled by other Jaegers. Though the American Jaegers are too far away to assist, the base remains in full readiness until the kaiju threat is neutralized.

After each kaiju is confirmed destroyed and the order is given to stand down, Tendo gets drinks with the Beckets. He lets them do most of the talking.

Raleigh waves as the television over the bar, currently showing the aftermath of Cherno Alpha’s fight against today’s kaiju in Siberia. “So the kaiju can attack Siberia, but not Alaska? What’s Siberia got that Alaska doesn’t? When’s it going to be our turn?”

Yancy grabs his brother’s shoulder and gives him a light shake. “Those kaiju don’t know the beat-downs they’re missing out on. We’ve got grade-A, prime American ass-kickings waiting for them.”

Tendo lowers his eyes to his sweating glass and thinks that, if it were up to him, the kaiju would never come to America again.

* * *

The alarms are blaring once again, and Tendo is on his route: bagels, coffee, chair. As he sits down, he can sense the tension in his colleagues in the LOCCENT control room. One glance at the monitors confirms his fears. He swallows, forcing the half-chewed bite of cold bagel down his throat with scalding hot coffee, and leans forward to the microphone. “Activity in the breach. Kaiju emerging. Category 3, codename Yamarashi.”

A shiver like cold electricity goes up his spine. “Projected landfall: southern California. Gipsy Danger is go for deployment.”

Tendo runs through the checklist: two pilots engaged in neural bridge, neural handshake stable and holding, drift established. He checks the readouts. Based on their scans, the brothers are in full fight-or-flight mode. They are fired up for action, but there is still a long airlift ahead of Gipsy Danger before she can go into battle.

As the Shatterdome doors groan open and Gipsy Danger strides onto its launch pad, Tendo can see the nervous energy starting to take its toll on the pilots. Their heart rates are up, and their respiration is fast and shallow. Tendo exchanges a look with Stacker Pentecost. Pentecost’s mouth is set in a hard line and his forehead furrowed.

Tendo keys the microphone. “How you guys doing in there?”

Yancy’s voice sounds tight and too loud. “I feel like I’m ready to tear that Category 3 in half.”

The cables connecting Gipsy to the Jumphawks grow taut as the aircraft take off and start to lift the weight of the 25-story machine.

Pentecost doesn’t say anything, but he raises his eyebrows at Tendo.

“Well, hold your horses,” says Tendo. A nervous smile lifts half his mouth. “Maybe get an in-flight magazine, because it’s going to be a few hours until Yamarashi is in punching distance.”

“Plenty of time to figure out how we’re going to end Yamarashi,” crows Raleigh.

Yancy adds, “And tell the helicopter guys to step on it. We don’t want someone else to beat us to the punch.”

Tendo sighs, shrugs helplessly at Pentecost, and activates the mic. “All right, I’m glad you’re excited.” He mumbles, “Like my girlfriend when I bought her tickets to the ballet” before flicking the microphone off.

Tendo can hear the grin in Raleigh’s voice over the speakers. “What was that about your girlfriend? I didn’t quite catch it.”

Tendo scowls and is reaching for the microphone when Pentecost steps forward, puts his hand over the microphone and points to the readings. Raleigh’s heart rate is noticeably lower, and Yancy’s has dropped, too. Pentecost looks down for a moment, thinking, then back up at Tendo. The Marshall waves one hand around in a circle, indicating to Tendo that he should keep going.

Tendo puffs out his cheeks and blows out air, then leans forward. It’s going to be a long flight, and it’s up to Tendo to keep the brothers’ minds occupied. He activates the mic.

“So you remember Becca, the redhead with the freckles on her shoulders? Well, let me tell you….”

* * *

It becomes their routine: before every mission, Tendo fills the brothers in on his love life. When he runs out of stories, he embellishes and improvises. Soon the other techs are all listening in, and sometimes Tendo can see through the LOCCENT control room windows that even the engineers on the ground pause in their work when he gets to the good parts.

His personal goal is to get Stacker Pentecost to crack a smile, but he never succeeds.

One early morning, running low on coffee and ideas while waiting for Gipsy to deploy to Guatemala, Tendo is unable to spin his story any further when he hears Pentecost clear his throat. Tendo glances over to see the Marshall facing away from him, looking out the window, his hands clasped behind his back. Tendo is about to look away when he sees Pentecost make a quick hand gesture. Nobody else in the control room sees it, but it leaves no doubt in Tendo’s mind where his story should go next.

That night, when the Beckets are laughing with Tendo over drinks, he can’t bring himself to tell them who came up with the best part of the story.

* * *

The Beckets may be Tendo’s best friends among the Jaeger pilots, but Tendo bonds with all of the Jaeger teams. They swap stories at work, joke around in their off hours, and get drinks after long watches and hard battles. Tendo learns the names of their families and pets, and he receives cards from several pilots’ families over the holidays. If the Shatterdome is like an extended family, Tendo is the one at the center of the web.

Since Tendo works with all of the people in the Shatterdome, from the facilities staff to Marshall Pentecost, he becomes the hub of all the rumors going around. Tendo knows all the workplace relationships and the workplace crushes. When he can, he puts in a good word to help a crush develop into a relationship.

When the Jaeger pilots find themselves assailed by doubts and fears, they often come to Tendo to talk it out. At those moments, Tendo listens and pays for the drinks. Though otherwise a chatterbox, he knows when it is best to remain quiet and let the other person have their say.

* * *

Gipsy Danger’s deployment against Knifehead begins like any other. Tendo worries more about making sure he has enough coffee and bagels than about whether the Beckets will win against the kaiju. Knifehead is the largest kaiju on record, but that just means that Gipsy Danger is about to set the record for the largest kaiju killed.

Even when the brothers break Pentecost’s orders and go to a fishing vessel’s rescue, Tendo is more concerned about the flak the brothers will catch from Pentecost after the mission.

Tendo’s mind floats in the familiar warm tangle of middle-of-the-night fatigue and coffee-sharp focus. Then the fight starts to go wrong. An entire arm disappears from the Jaeger’s status display. Tendo racks his mind for anything he can do to help. His eyes dart across the readouts, willing there to be some piece of information that he can give the brothers to give them an edge.

Abruptly, the signal cuts out. He hears his voice announcing it to the control room, his mouth suddenly dry, his stomach a cold knot. Around him, techs scramble contingency plans. Tendo slumps in his chair, staring at the empty displays. Stacker Pentecost is a statue, and Tendo wonders what that feels like. Tendo’s head is buzzing.

An eternity passes before word comes in that Gipsy Danger has been spotted on a stretch of Alaskan coastline. When he hears that Raleigh has survived, Tendo has a moment of clarity: every time a Jaeger falls, he will remember this moment and hope that, somehow, someone will survive. He knows he will hope, and that his hope will be dashed each time.

He is almost right.

* * *

“I guess this is it, Tendo. They’re kicking me out of the Jaeger program.”

Tendo is eating lunch at the cafeteria. He turns to see Raleigh with a duffel bag over his shoulder.

Tendo starts to stand. “No, they can’t do that--”

Raleigh puts a hand on Tendo’s shoulder and pushes him gently but firmly back down to the bench. “I can’t pilot a Jaeger alone.” Tendo opens his mouth to protest, but Raleigh holds up a hand. “And even if I were drift compatible with someone else, I can’t go out there again.”

Tendo sees the defeat in his friend’s eyes, and somehow that moment is worse than when he lost Gipsy Danger’s signal. Tendo doesn’t know what to say. “Goodbye,” he manage

“Yeah, goodbye.” Raleigh starts to walk off, then stops and turns. “Hey, good luck with Alison.”

Tendo tries to smile, but it hurts.


	3. Chapter 3

Even when the Jaegers start losing, they mostly win. Most deployments end in victory, but that does not matter. The Jaegers have to be repaired each time with dwindling resources, and they are being destroyed more quickly than they can be rebuilt. The PPDC fights with the same limited pool of Jaegers, whereas there seems to be an endless supply of kaiju coming from the breach.

While most people in the Shatterdome view the increase in the size and ferocity of kaiju with a sense of dread, there is one person who finds it endlessly fascinating. Newt Geiszler records the development of the creatures with fanatical dedication and a sense of awe. Tendo occasionally has to take the scientist aside and explain to him that the best time to describe how effective the latest kaiju’s weapons were is not when that kaiju just demonstrated those weapons on a Jaeger.

Even Newt, who is often oblivious to what others are feeling, gets the hint. He has seen fights end badly for Jaegers.

Each time a Jaeger falls, Tendo can feel a silence in the control room for just a moment, as if the others are holding their breaths. It is not until the third time a Jaeger is destroyed that Tendo realizes what it is. They are waiting for Tendo’s announcement. It is as though the final transmission from the defeated Jaeger is only meaningless information until Tendo puts it into words. Everyone knows that the Jaegers and their pilots are dead, but Tendo is the one who saw the life signs disappear. Perhaps it is easier for them to have another person voice the words, make it true.

Tendo just wishes that person didn’t have to be him.

* * *

When Gipsy Danger is salvaged from Oblivion Bay, the Jaeger junkyard, and repairs are begun, Tendo finds it painful to visit the broken Jaeger. Without its pilots, Gipsy looks hollow. Both pilots are gone now, and Tendo does not expect to see Raleigh again any more than Yancy.

Nevertheless, Tendo still finds his steps turning toward the hangar where Gipsy Danger is being repaired and refitted. Though he feels the loss of the Beckets most acutely when he is near the shattered machine, he also feels a strange sense of sympathy, as though the only one who understands what Tendo has gone through is the twenty-five-story machine.

One day, when Tendo is on his way to spend a free hour watching the work on Gipsy, he passes Stacker Pentecost. At first, it seems as though the Marshall will pass by Tendo without a word, but then he stops and meets Tendo’s eyes. “We’ll fix her, Tendo,” Pentecost says, then walks on.

In that moment, Tendo knows he is not as alone as he thought.

* * *

Every time a pilot dies, there comes a moment where Tendo wishes he did not know the pilot so well. Every time, he considers distancing himself from the remaining pilots.

He can never bring himself to do it. As the pilots dwindle in number, Tendo finds himself compulsively learning more about those who remain, as though he can help the pilots stay alive by making them more real to Tendo. He hears stories of hometowns, learns favorite sports teams, memorizes birthdays.

Eventually, he memorizes the days they died, too.

* * *

When the word comes down that the Jaeger program is being shuttered, it feels anticlimactic.

“That’s it?” The words escape him before he can stop himself. The Shatterdomes are all being closed down, and the last few surviving Jaegers will gather in Hong Kong to await the completion of the Anti-Kaiju Wall.

There will be no final push, no heroic last stand.

* * *

The Hong Kong Shatterdome is a jumble of activity, with crews from the surviving Jaegers all sharing the same base. As Tendo walks past the crowded tables in the cafeteria, he hears not only Chinese, Russian, and English, but also Spanish and Japanese. Some Shatterdome crews came to Hong Kong even though they had no Jaeger to bring with them.

Tendo knows the feeling: the last operational American Jaeger, Mammoth Apostle, was destroyed shortly before everything moved to Hong Kong. That leaves the Americans with only Gipsy Danger, still undergoing repairs.

Tendo is already familiar with the various surviving Jaegers and their crews. American Jaegers have deployed alongside all of them in the past: Cherno Alpha, the lumbering brute; Crimson Typhoon, the scrappy fighter; and Striker Eureka, the superstar warrior.

It turns out that working with the crews on individual deployments is different from living with them and interacting with them almost every day.

Tendo already has great respect for Herc Hansen, and the tough Australian shows the same respect for Tendo. The first time they pass each other near their quarters, Herc gives Tendo a nod.

“Good to have you with us. We’re going to need all the expertise we can muster.”

Tendo can only nod in return, because in that moment he is struck by a shared understanding with the elder Hansen: too much knowledge about Jaegers has already been lost with the Rangers who have died.

Herc’s son Chuck is as strong as his father, but while Herc’s strength is deep and quiet, Chuck feels the need to throw his weight around and remind everyone that he is the best pilot. Tendo cuts the boy some slack. In some ways, Chuck reminds Tendo of his own insecurities in his youth, and how eager he had been to prove himself to the people he had associated with.

The Wei brothers remind Tendo of something else in his past. When the brothers hear that Tendo speaks Chinese, they track him down and start talking all at once, interrupting each other and leaving their sentences half-said. Tendo is forced to raise his hands to the barrage and ask them to speak more slowly, and one at a time. The brothers pass a sneer around between them as easily as a basketball, and from that moment, each brother makes sure to pronounce each word with infuriating, exaggerated slowness when speaking to Tendo.

Tendo starts avoiding the brothers when he can.

The Russians catch Tendo by surprise. Before he came to Hong Kong, his impression of the Russians was one of focused strength. In fact, his Russian counterpart, upon learning that Tendo would be coordinating the Jaegers in Hong Kong, warned him to give the Kaidanovskys their space. The bleached-blond Russians were interested only in fighting kaiju, Tendo was told, and nothing else. So when Tendo sees Sasha and her husband Aleksis waiting behind him in the line to the food table, he steps aside and indicates that they should pass him.

“Why you are doing this?” Sasha asks, but only once she and her husband have stepped past Tendo.

Tendo decides that replying that he’s scared of them is not the wisest decision, so instead he opts for, “I’m no hero. You’re the heroes.”

Sasha purses her red lips and considers this. “It is true, you are no hero. But you are the man who watches heroes die.”

With that, she and her husband turn away from him and concentrate on their food.

 

Tendo is busy setting up in the Hong Kong Shatterdome’s LOCCENT control room, so he does not have time to visit Gipsy Danger. Even when he has free time, he feels an odd reluctance to see the machine. Perhaps it is because the repairs are getting ever nearer to completion, and Tendo is not ready for a new pilot to step inside the Beckets’ old machine.

When he finally goes down to the hangar where the repairs are taking place, he meets up with the young woman in charge of the project. He recognizes her as Marshall Pentecost’s daughter. They have have never discussed Gipsy’s repairs before.

Tendo nods at the machine. “Looks like the repairs are almost complete.”

Mako Mori keeps her eyes on Gipsy. “There is still a lot of work left to do.” She chooses each word carefully, as though afraid of giving something away. Tendo expects Mako to be eager for Gipsy to be piloted again, but he finds her thoughtful and restrained.

“The work on the armor is almost complete, but the internal systems still need a lot of repairs. It is hard to find replacement parts, so many have to be made by hand.”

“So she’ll never be the same as she was.”

Mako waits before responding. “We are improving her.”

He did not mean to offend her. “You are rebuilding her with parts you are making with your own hands,” says Tendo. His voice sounds far away in his own ears. “Whoever pilots her next will have to be very special.”

Mako looks at him quickly, but the look on her face changes when she sees his expression. He is not thinking of himself. She looks away.

* * *

When Stacker tells Tendo that Raleigh is returning to the Shatterdome, Tendo pictures Raleigh striding across the deck of the Shatterdome, the hero returned. Instead, Raleigh wanders in like an outsider, standing away from Pentecost and the people the Marshall introduces him to.

Despite the disappointment Tendo feels, it is good to see his friend again.

When they get a moment to catch up in the mess hall, they start by swapping jokes.

“How about those Russians?” Tendo laughs. “If all pilots grew that big, we wouldn’t need Jaegers to take down kaiju.”

“Pentecost says they can get anything. How about a classic Harley? I figure if they can manage a nuclear bomb, a motorcycle shouldn’t be too hard.”

But once they run out of jokes, they have nothing more to say. Tendo can’t think of a single thing that wouldn’t remind them both of Yancy. They finish their meal in silence.

* * *

After the disaster during Raleigh and Mako’s first drift, Tendo expects to have to talk Pentecost into letting Raleigh stay. To his surprise, Tendo is not sure that he wants to do that. Once again, he had built that moment up in his mind. Once Raleigh and Mako were together in Gipsy Danger, they could have shown everyone that they were meant to be there. Instead, they nearly destroyed the LOCCENT command center.

To his surprise, Tendo finds himself taking it personally. Tendo worked with Gipsy for years before Mako ever set eyes on her, and he stuck with Gipsy after Raleigh abandoned her. Yet there he was, forced to pull the plug on the Jaeger to keep Raleigh and Mako from destroying him and probably most of the Shatterdome.

He does not dwell on it for long. The double event puts all other thoughts out of his mind. Two kaiju emerge from the breach together.

As they scramble to launch Cherno Alpha, Crimson Typhoon, and Striker Eureka, Tendo lets himself get lost in the work. It was standard procedure to deploy several Jaegers at once during the height of the Kaiju War, but launching three Jaegers with their own support teams and three different languages presents a new set of challenges. Each Jaeger team has a lot of experience, but they are used to doing things their own way. Crimson Typhoon’s team wants to check in with Tendo about each step of the launch sequence, whereas Cherno Alpha’s team only sends two messages the whole time: “Cherno is getting ready,” and “Cherno is ready.”

Tendo watches with anticipation as the Jumphawks move the Jaegers out into the bay. The Jaegers do not need to worry about intercepting the kaiju: the kaiju are coming straight to them. Both signals are closing quickly on Hong Kong.

More readings are coming in on the kaiju, and Tendo feels a cold sensation in the pit of his stomach that hot coffee cannot touch. Otachi and Leatherback are the largest, strongest, toughest kaiju on record. Defeating them individually would have been a challenge. Tendo is not sure if they can be taken down together.

The fight starts with Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon moving in to engage the kaiju while Striker Eureka hangs back to protect the city. Otachi is the first kaiju to come to blows with the Jaegers. The Kaidanovskys and the Weis launch into their well-practiced techniques: Cherno Alpha lands several thunderous punches, while Crimson Typhoon carves great slices across Otachi’s armor with the famous Thundercloud Formation maneuver.

Tendo checks the readouts on Otachi and his heart sinks. Both Jaegers have dealt damage that would have crippled or killed lesser kaiju, but Otachi seems to be barely slowed down.

Then, in the space of a few heartbeats, Crimson Typhoon’s damage readout changes from nominal to catastrophic. Tendo looks up, his breath caught in his throat, and watches helplessly as Otachi’s tail latches onto Crimson Typhoon’s con pod and begins to crush it.

Then another voice comes on the line: Herc Hansen announcing that Striker Eureka is moving to help. For a moment Tendo remembers another such message, years ago, when the Beckets declared that they were moving to save a ship off the coast of Alaska.

Crimson Typhoon’s readouts go red. The Weis are no more, and the Chinese Jaeger crashes into the ocean.

With Striker Eureka rushing to help but far from the fight, Cherno Alpha is left alone to fight the kaiju that Cherno and Crimson could not defeat together. Admiration and dread mingle in Tendo as he sees the Russian Jaeger stride back into the fight.

Something is bothering Tendo. His mind keeps coming back to how quickly Otachi’s tail destroyed Crimson Typhoon’s conn pod. It was almost as though the tail had been created for that exact purpose.

No sooner has the thought occurred to Tendo than Otachi’s throat swells the kaiju projects a stream of acid onto Cherno Alpha. Tendo hears the anger in Sasha Kaidanovsky’s voice as she reports the damage. A quick glance at the display confirms that the acid is eating through Cherno’s thick armor.

Cold sweat trickles down Tendo’s spine. If Cherno dies, Striker Eureka will be the last Jaeger standing. And if Striker falls, what will protect Hong Kong?

Before Tendo can send a message, before Striker can reach the fight, Leatherback surges from beneath the water and pulls Cherno Alpha apart. Tendo watches the old Jaeger go down swinging as the Kaidanovskys fight to their last breath, and Tendo watches that last breath on the displays before their readouts go red.

That leaves Striker Eureka with the two kaiju. Tendo is now convinced that the kaiju have adapted to fighting Jaegers. Otachi’s tail and acid both proved devastatingly effective against Crimson Typhoon and Cherno Alpha. Tendo watches with dread to see what the kaiju will do to Striker Eureka.

He doesn’t have to wait long. The displays report an electromagnetic surge from Leatherback, and there is a flash of blue light in the control room that leaves bright dots dancing behind Tendo’s eyes. When his vision clears, his eyes dart from screen to screen, and they are all blank.

Tendo finds the realization that the control room has been struck by a kaiju weapon profoundly disturbing. In a way, it reminds him of San Francisco, and the helpless feeling of being in the shadow of the kaiju.

Tendo collapses back into his chair. There is nothing else anyone can do.

He is wrong.

Raleigh steps forward and volunteers Gipsy Danger to fight. Tendo sees the pain in Pentecost’s eyes as the Marshall weighs his options. In the end, he has no choice: Gipsy is their last chance.

Launching Gipsy with the main systems down is a challenge, but everyone in the Shatterdome works to make it happen. Tendo rides the elevator up to Gipsy’s conn-pod with Raleigh and Mako to set up their Drift manually.

“Here we go again,” says Raleigh with an apprehensive smile.

“It’ll be good to see Gipsy fight,” says Tendo. He looks from Raleigh to Mako. They look so different physically, but the same defiant energy radiates from them.

Raleigh punches Tendo’s shoulder lightly. “At least we know the plasma cannon still works.”

Tendo makes a face, pulling his mouth to one side and unsure what to say. Mako steps in, wagging a finger at Raleigh. “I told you, she is better than before.”

They are all silent for a moment as the elevator reaches the top. Mako enters the conn-pod, but Raleigh pauses before entering to turn to Tendo. “Guess we’ll see how much better. Come on, hook us up.”

Initiating a Drift manually is not like running through the checklist from the distance of the LOCCENT control room. Tendo has never been inside Gipsy’s conn pod before, and it feels strangely intimate. He has experience with being in another man’s bedroom while the man is away, and that is how he feels now. Tendo helps Raleigh into the harness, then Mako, aware that each of them is watching him as he works with the other. Then Tendo boots up the main CPU and initiates the drift. He watches as Raleigh and Mako become in sync. Raleigh straightens up a little, Mako slouches slightly, and the neural handshake is holding.

“Good luck,” says Tendo. As he leaves the conn-pod, he realizes he is blushing.

* * *

Tendo starts to head back to the LOCCENT control room when he is surprised to see Pentecost and Dr. Gottlieb leading a large group of engineers and techs through the corridors toward the Shatterdome entrance.

Tendo joins the group and soon they are standing in the rain, staring out at the city. They can hear the distant sounds of destruction, somewhat dampened by the weather. With the primary system rebooting, there is little for them to do than to wait and hope.

People around Tendo mouth prayers, perform the sign of the cross two different ways, clutch talismans. Tendo runs the beads of his rosary around his wrist and through his fingers. He never did learn all the prayers of the rosary, but he has his own prayers: kill the kaiju, come back safely.

At one point, Tendo makes out the distinct sound of a plasma cannon firing. He looks over at Pentecost to see Pentecost looking back at him. The Marshall’s eyes show that he recognized the sound, too. Gipsy is still fighting.

Later, Gottlieb points upward at something at roof level. More people in the crowd look up, point, and exclaim. At first, Tendo’s mind cannot comprehend what he is seeing, but then he realizes that it is Gipsy Danger, pulled aloft by a flying kaiju.

Tendo feels despair threatening to overwhelm him, but when he looks at Pentecost, he sees determination in the man’s gaze as his eyes remain locked on the battle. The kaiju lifts Gipsy Danger into the air. The watchers shade their eyes from the rain as they struggle to make out the kaiju and Jaeger in the black clouds before losing sight.

Tense moments pass, and then someone calls out that Gipsy Danger is falling. Tendo’s heart feels like it is falling with Gipsy, but Pentecost will not let the Jaeger or his daughter die. He produces an old-fashioned radio and instructs Raleigh and Mako to vent their fuel.

Tendo starts doing calculations in his head, trying to determine without his computer whether Gipsy will survive the fall, and more importantly, whether the pilots inside will be able to take the impact. Tendo can’t get the numbers right in his head, and he gives up. They’ll know soon enough anyway.

Gipsy’s impact can be heard at the Shatterdome. When Raleigh reports that he’s all right, Tendo feels like his heart starts to beat again.

Tendo can’t even guess as to the amount of work it will take to get Gipsy and Striker back online, but he knows that they have a lot of hard work ahead of them, and not a lot of time in which to do it. If Gottlieb’s predictions are correct, the next attack will be happening shortly.

They’ve lost two Jaegers and two crews, but they’re still in the fight.


	4. Chapter 4

Tendo resolves himself to take each new challenge as it comes, and it is a grim series of events.

First the crews recover Gipsy Danger and Striker Eureka. Striker’s electronics are shot, so the engineers begin the delicate task of rewiring her. Gipsy has taken a massive beating, meaning the engineers have to start the large-scale job of mending her armor. They know she won’t be pretty, but she’ll be ready for the final fight.

The crews work around the clock, and the only reason they are ready in time is that the Chinese and Russian crews lend a hand in grim fellowship with the American and Australian crews, eager to do their part in avenging the fallen.

Then Tendo receives the signal that shows two more kaiju emerging from the breach. The repairs they have completed will have to be good enough. He makes the call to inform Pentecost, and he can see the tension in the Marshall as he receives the news.

Tendo passes along the Marshall’s orders to Chuck to suit up. To Tendo’s annoyance, the young Australian is still in his everyday clothes when Tendo runs into him on the Shatterdome floor.

Stacker Pentecost deserves better than this. When the Marshall resolved to pilot a Jaeger one last time, there should have been a dozen experienced Jaeger pilots crying out to take his place, letting the old man rest and live. But there is only an injured Herc Hansen and his son, who is too stubborn to put on his uniform.

It will have to do.

Pentecost gives his speech, and Tendo hears the same sentiments that each person in the Shatterdome struggles to hold onto. In the past few days, it has been a struggle to believe that they are not just delaying the inevitable. Listening to Stacker Pentecost and hearing the determination in his voice, Tendo feels like they have chance after all.

Things are progressing quickly, and Tendo is scrambling to keep up. He focuses on doing his job and puts his fears aside. Still, when the Jaegers deploy, it’s not just Striker Eureka and Gipsy Danger going out to save the world. It’s Stacker Pentecost, his boss and leader, the man he respects more than anyone in the world. It’s Raleigh Becket, who is like a little brother to Tendo while also being stronger and braver than Tendo. It’s Mako Mori, who rebuilt Gipsy Danger and, with it, Tendo’s hope. When Tendo thinks of Chuck Hansen, he looks up at Herc, standing in the LOCCENT control room with his arm in a sling, his jaw clenched and his eyes grim.

This is the last shot for everyone. If the last two surviving Jaegers can’t close the breach, it will be only a matter of time before kaiju overrun the world. It may take weeks or months for the monsters to destroy human civilization, but there will be nothing left that people can do to stop them. Looking up at Herc, Tendo knows that, for some people, the loss will come sooner than that.

The mood in the control room is subdued. Though they all have their roles to fulfill, they cannot help feeling like they are now spectators waiting to find out what humanity’s fate will be.

Then the mood is shattered by a commotion in the control room. Geiszler and Gottlieb rush through the techs, making their way to Tendo and Hansen. The scientists are a mess, smeared with sweat and blood.

Newt pushes Tendo aside and grabs the microphone. Sounding even more frantic than he normally does, Newt warns the pilots that their plan will not work unless they send the bomb into the breach alongside a kaiju.

This revelation is an added complication, but it does not change the fact that the mission must proceed. Hansen makes the only call possible in the situation and orders the Jaegers to continue toward the breach.

As the Jaegers approach their target, Tendo sees a kaiju signal closing in. He does all he can by warning Raleigh and Mako of the danger they are in. Raleigh replies that he cannot see the kaiju, leaving Tendo to watch helplessly as the kaiju stalks the Jaegers.

Then the third kaiju emerges from the breach, larger even than the other two: the first Category Five on record. Readings indicate that it clearly outmatches the Jaegers. Though Tendo shivers at the thought, he also realizes that the size of the kaiju does not matter. This is the only chance they will have: retreat is not an option, and failure is too terrible to contemplate.

Still, part of him wishes that it wasn’t his friend out there.

As he has that thought, he realizes that there is another part of him that knows it could not be anyone else.

Part of Tendo knows that bad news is coming, only he does not know what form it will take. Then Pentecost announces that they will detonate the nuclear payload to kill Scunner and Slattern and make way for Gipsy to enter the breach and self-destruct.

Tendo’s heart sinks. He looks up at Herc Hansen to see the stony expression on the older man’s face. Tendo realizes that Herc knew all along that his son and his best friend would not be coming back. Anything Tendo could say would be woefully inadequate, so he turns back to his console, determined to see it through.

For once, Tendo does not need to report the destroyed Jaeger or the dead pilots. Everyone in the control room knows the price has been paid, and now it is time to close the breach and end the war.

It always seems like, no matter the sacrifice, the kaiju always demand more. Just as Gipsy reaches the breach, Slattern reappears, injured but alive. Tendo can only watch as the two signals enter the breach.

Tendo reaches for his coffee mug, but it is empty. He licks his lips and looks around the control room. Every eye is glued to the main monitor. At this point, there is nothing any of them can do but wait, and possibly pray.

It occurs to Tendo, perhaps for the first time, that prayers are hopes put into words. To pray is to hope, and to hope is to open oneself up for disappointment. Again and again he tries to prepare himself for the deaths of Raleigh and Mako, and again and again he finds himself praying for their survival.

When Raleigh gives Mako his oxygen, Tendo adjusts his prayer, hoping that if he asks for less he will be more likely to get it: maybe Raleigh will die, but maybe, just maybe, Mako will live.

He is so caught up in each moment that the detonation almost catches him by surprise. He checks the monitor. The breach is closing.

The war is over.

It is hard for Tendo to process, but he has to announce it anyway. Tendo, the one who announced the deaths of so many pilots, is the one to announce the victory they died for.

He thinks back to San Francisco all those years ago, as he held his dying grandfather and tried to understand what was beginning. It is just as difficult to understand what is now ending.

* * *

It takes a long time for Mako’s escape pod to reach the surface of the water, but even before it does, Tendo receives strong life sign readings. The feeling of relief that he glimpsed when the breach closed washes over him.

When Raleigh’s pod reaches the surface, Tendo immediately adds Raleigh back into his prayers.

Everyone in the control room can hear Mako’s concern as she searches for Raleigh’s pulse.

Tendo can hear her edging toward despair, so he redoubles his efforts to hope and pray enough for the both of them. The life support readings could have been knocked out by the blast. Raleigh could still be alive.

Without even meaning to, Tendo says his thoughts out loud. In his own way, he prays on Mako’s behalf as well as his own. Regardless of how it turns out, he knows it is the last time he will ever need to say this prayer: the kaiju are dead. Let the pilots come home safe.

When Raleigh’s hoarse response comes over the speakers, the control room erupts in cheers. Tendo looks up at Herc Hansen and meets the ranger’s eyes.

As the techs congratulate each other and cheer around them, Tendo’s face goes rigid and he can tell that they are thinking the same thing.

They have not won.

They have finally stopped losing.


End file.
